Kitkat's Blog

Today ive spent catching up on what ive missed. I worked out ive missed 4 days of work recently and 3 days of lessons! And ive still not got in the revision zone but i cant when ive got so much work etc to sort out!!!

The weekend was okay, had a fight with jonny which i think has cleared things up we were not on the same wave length but everything seems fine. I got my arm hut but its fine now and the weathers been glorious.

I missed out on prom - but i knew that, i do regret it a bit but ... it was my decision and they took my photograph and missed me so at least i was thought of - it realy kindled my heart did that, it was a beautiful moment to know that i was loved.

Things with jonny are okay now were still trying to sort out these damn train tickets!! Which is pissing me off i just want it to be sorted now. Another thing thats hanging over me is that although ive now got my beautiful phone i need to get it unlocked lol. And i keep getting loads of letters lol. The bank and wages are being complicated atm, im not sure whats going on there ... And beckys writen to me i need to find time to answer that at some point, ive been really neglecting her but what can i do with msn being prohibated (word of the day lol -just decided) we really need to catch up - its scarey to think though that in 7 weeks itll all be over! No going back.

Ive now sorted out all my Uni acomodation applied for and the Flying Start corse and i got a letter the other day saying that theyve processed my DSA application so thats on the run now - everything is getting sorted and the balls rolling... ive said to mummy that at least now im on top of things in that area and if it doesnt come off its not because of me being lax as ive sent them off asap.

In Subjects... Lets start with English - no change really jus poddling along learning, not relly got into revision yet at all! need to do quotes Ive got some questions to do at some point ... other than that not allot to report.

Theatre - great news! The practicle is over and done with theres been so much drama in drama leading up to it i wont boar you with all the details only the aaron, beth, amy triangle got in the way ... beth said she wasnt coming and then did. Dress rehersal was apauling - D grade and finally we managed to pull it off. I got top mark with Performance 45/50, Portfolio 20/25 and Preparation 24/24 giving an overall grade of 89/100 or 89% = A i was excstatic. Joe also got an A, Aaron and Hannah got B's Charlotte missed out on a B by 1 mark!!! And Lewis broke up with her the day before - i was so gutted for her! (and beth got a D but i dont even care anymore) Now thats over with were jus getting hand outs that were scanning in class, most or which was repetition of other sheets weve done - revision for that i think will jus be highlighting and condensing it *shruggs* its really does seem pointless.

Media - Missed quite allot of this im going to have to get the DVD's and notes from rach. Again revision on this front not going so well bit confused about it all tbh need to get my notes organised i think. And sort out case study sheets n that. Jus been catchin up on what ive missed with rach - dunt sound like a right lot actually.

This kinda thing really helps me to organise my life lol dont know what id do with out it writing it all down seems to make it so much more managable somehow ...

Anyway i hope that fulfills everything ... Not sure that theres much left to repot if there is ill tell you later.

Talk soon
Kat xxxxxxx

God whats going on in my life? lol im not even clear.

Today i woke up and was violently sick, i think after the curry last night, but ive been feeling shite all day. Im feeling better now although not 100% at all although ive just finished spealong to Jonny which might have something to do with it. I cant believe its 10 months today!!!

Today ive spent catching up on what ive missed. I worked out ive missed 4 days of work recently and 3 days of lessons! And ive still not got in the revision zone but i cant when ive got so much work etc to sort out!!!

The weekend was okay, had a fight with jonny which i think has cleared things up we were not on the same wave length but everything seems fine. I got my arm hut but its fine now and the weathers been glorious.

I missed out on prom - but i knew that, i do regret it a bit but ... it was my decision and they took my photograph and missed me so at least i was thought of - it realy kindled my heart did that, it was a beautiful moment to know that i was loved.

Things with jonny are okay now were still trying to sort out these damn train tickets!! Which is pissing me off i just want it to be sorted now. Another thing thats hanging over me is that although ive now got my beautiful phone i need to get it unlocked lol. And i keep getting loads of letters lol. The bank and wages are being complicated atm, im not sure whats going on there ... And beckys writen to me i need to find time to answer that at some point, ive been really neglecting her but what can i do with msn being prohibated (word of the day lol -just decided ) we really need to catch up - its scarey to think though that in 7 weeks itll all be over! No going back.

Ive now sorted out all my Uni acomodation applied for and the Flying Start corse and i got a letter the other day saying that theyve processed my DSA application so thats on the run now - everything is getting sorted and the balls rolling... ive said to mummy that at least now im on top of things in that area and if it doesnt come off its not because of me being lax as ive sent them off asap.

In Subjects... Lets start with English - no change really jus poddling along learning, not relly got into revision yet at all! need to do quotes Ive got some questions to do at some point ... other than that not allot to report.

Theatre - great news! The practicle is over and done with theres been so much drama in drama leading up to it i wont boar you with all the details only the aaron, beth, amy triangle got in the way ... beth said she wasnt coming and then did. Dress rehersal was apauling - D grade and finally we managed to pull it off. I got top mark with Performance 45/50, Portfolio 20/25 and Preparation 24/24 giving an overall grade of 89/100 or 89% = A i was excstatic. Joe also got an A, Aaron and Hannah got B's Charlotte missed out on a B by 1 mark!!! And Lewis broke up with her the day before - i was so gutted for her! (and beth got a D but i dont even care anymore) Now thats over with were jus getting hand outs that were scanning in class, most or which was repetition of other sheets weve done - revision for that i think will jus be highlighting and condensing it *shruggs* its really does seem pointless.

Media - Missed quite allot of this im going to have to get the DVD's and notes from rach. Again revision on this front not going so well bit confused about it all tbh need to get my notes organised i think. And sort out case study sheets n that. Jus been catchin up on what ive missed with rach - dunt sound like a right lot actually.

This kinda thing really helps me to organise my life lol dont know what id do with out it writing it all down seems to make it so much more managable somehow ...

Anyway i hope that fulfills everything ... Not sure that theres much left to repot if there is ill tell you later.

Talk soon
Kat xxxxxxx

Ive been very busy, i thought the other day i had nothing to say but when i sat down and thought about it came to me that i really do and then i got overwhelmed and couldnt even face writing about them.

Okay first and foremost - School. Well im chugging along, not allot of revision is happening at all :S im worried about myself i just cant seem to get my head in the game at all, im hoping itll all come together once ive got this damn drama practicle out of the way, at least now im seeing an improvement but im still worried. Drama is as i say hectic and yet not allot is going on (dont even talk to me about the written exams!) English its all war at the moment im feelin a bit in limbo with it, it just doesnt intrest me and the exams are looming im concerned that there all closed book and just how well do i know them without the book is a very good question - LEARN QUOTES LEARN QUOTES LEARN QUOTES lol Media once again chugging along, im so relieve i only have that one exam and now genre seems to be coming together but rep does seem still to be a bit incongruent :S what can i say apart from the revision im doing my best. (which does seem to be rather a contradiction in terms, in fact i probable should be revising now instead of beating myself up about not revising but i need a break!)

I saw andy today, i love andy, ive really missed him (weve not spoken for ages!) hes a real gent and looking amazingly good. Anyways despite his aestheticly pleasing and somewhat surprising qualities (perhaps they have just occured to me because he now seems comfortable in his skin, also for anyone that cares maybe i should add the context that hes gay)Anyway becak to the point he asked me 'hows life, excluding school' i thought this was a particularly thoughtfull question because if i exclude all worries about exam pressure, revision, homework, people and natural frickards at school then my life (although allot emptier and perhaps calmer) is going well!

Despite what i say, i think i am on track to go to uni and get the job i want. Im in love with jonny and i think that thats only emphasised by things being a bit arquard at the moment, we had a really good and truthful conversation which although has caused some rifts has as jonny quite rightly said made us realise that 'you love me enough to be honest' which is quite quite true it may also be because were playing the waiting game again. (9 days now, then 4 days together) Hopefully, if i can work it out this weekend ill be going to see him at the end of may too just before my exams so we can both get through June, when anything other than revision, traveling, exams and the occational panic attack will be minimal that includes eating, sleeping and breathing lol.

Erm what else, had a massive sort out of moneys the other day, now that im 18 everythings changed in that area. ive opened an online ISA and have now only got one working current account that my wage goes in (its an updated version of the old one and means i get a checkbook n everything (ooooh posh i hear you cry ) I got Joan to transfer my wage today and that should all come through soon.

Also breaking news on the Eddie front!!! Do you want the good news or the bad news first? [bad news] He failed as a guide dog!!! (apparently he doesnt like motorbikes going past him and also - he doesnt like to work!!! [daddys quite offended that people keep insinuating that this is his bad influence lol] it does however bring back memories of him lying down on the drive as a puppy and not wanting to go out even as an older puppy) [the good news] we get him back on friday and even better daddy and Pat have decided to still keep Flora so Eddie can help bring her up and if that works out keep getting Puppies hehe. So i think all in all thats generally good news.

Ive now got a hell of a lot of money in my money box at home too ( i genuinely am in the money) so im going to buy that new phone in due corse and ive got to pay for my drivers licence which is nearly all sorted out. Not sure what else i have to sort out. This weekend i much sort phone with tim, sort comps with tim, sort trains with tim...

not sure what else, im fairly tiered now not sure what im gonna do i was meant to call jonny today but i spoke to him earlier and sed do you mind if i dont ring cos i have allot of work to do but ive also got alot of work done... i want to ring him but i guess ive arranged it that way now, i shall try to wait for tommorow but we shall see ... Im going to go for a shower soon and sort what im going to do, be it revision or just looking through and anotating some articles, who knows ... i have this problem of priorotising at the moment and wanting to finish one thing before i start something knew, who knows ... you see my train of thought waffely and yet inconclusive lol

and with that i better sign off with the P.S HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOOD OLD SHAKES xxxxx

It went really well Becky came round on friday night (i was totally unprepared) and a bit of a mess but she took it really well we watched the history boys and slept over n then talked on the monday morning untill Jonny arrived, it was a mazing to see him. Although i felt a bit guilty cos i couldnt keep my hands off him and i hope that becky didnt feel left out. We didnt do a right lot jus sat around and chilled but i really loved it. I went to get changed and had a bit of a calamity but it all went okay in the end. Ganny and Grandad arrived and i opened my presents.

I got loads of money - near enough £200 because Granny and Grandad gave me a cheque for £100!!! I was gob smacked. I also got quite a bit of stationary etc and jewelry and a few books including a book by Peter Brooke and a dictionary of myth and fable which looks great but adam gave me a lovely powder flask and my mum had had my writing sloap rejuvinated is the wrong word ... restored? you get the general idea and its beautiful but the best birthday present was seeing jonny.

We went to the restaurant and met my dad and Pat, and Jonny met my dad which he was a bit nervous about and so was i, but i couldnt do anything about it so ... (he only realised hed be meeting them on the thursday when i rang him and he asked who was going, apparently he got off the phone and said to maddy 'its gonna be like meet the family day) but i think they got on alright and everything, they shook hands and jonny thanked him for paying and everything - i hope daddy likes him, i like him. I love him.

We all got home quite late and we were tiered but we talked for a bit. It was wonderful waking up next to him and knowing that i didnt have to get up and rush back to my tent. Unfortunately Becky had to get up to go because part of her family were coming round for her part of our birthday celebrations, i just hope she enjoyed herself, she seemed to be getting on really well with adam which was nice Then Jonny, Maddy, Adam and i just monged untill 3 ish when they had to go. I miss him so much but what can i say, its the way things are at the moment and we deal with it.

Yesterday I went to school and delt with the early morning Laura gave me some sweets and reminded me to stay a kid and alice gave me a ring that id actually been considering buying in accesorise. In drama they wrapped me up in a birthday banner which was kind of fun and in the afternoon daddy and Pat came round to give me a couple of presents because Pat likes to do things on the day n stuff and i got some more money and a necklace and an orcid which ive been wanting for a while and Daddy gave me a small lava lamp which is nice, ive wanted one of my own for quite a while so.

I was on the phone to Jonny for an hour and a half and so he was kind of there at the time i turned 18 at 9.00 pm which was nice. And really my birthday continues untill the weekend because im going to my dads to celebrate there aswell. I guess im kinda spoilt. I think though that its been the best birthday yet.

Yes well what can i say ive been busy, it was only when i got an email from these people tis morning that it even crossed my mind to write, also talking to pat about a blog too.

*sighs* right so to fill in since january gosh. well lets start with school thats the easy part, ive finished my resits and mangaged to move up to A in drama, B in english, and stayed a C in Media but mircale of miracles i managed to get an A in the actuall exam so i need to get a B in my genre and rep to get a B overall!!! which is nice, i was pretty exstatic. Since then ive been doing drafts adn drafts of corsework and preparing for our drama practicle which is still worrying and has been a bit of a mess but weve managed to get mrs hadley back in for a time which is nice.

Things with jonny are as perfect as they can be at the moment (were back together by the way, what can i say it turned out nothing had changed we still felt exacltly the same about each other when we were apart as when we were together so nothing had changed really apart from us taring ourselves apart.) i saw him for a few hours at Nantwitch and then waited aaaaggggeesss to see him at Caldicot a couple of weekends ago which was AMAZING and, although im not meant to know hes coming down (up) a week today for my 18th although its meant to be a surprise so shhh.

So about my 18th well ive found out its between 10 + 20 people and i know about 11 of them so ... Daddy, Pat, Granny, Grandad, Adam, Mummy, Tim, Jonny, Maddy and Becky my best friend from Pontefract. Oh and me so thats 11. I know a few pressents and jonny gave me 2 early so ... what else.

After my birthday its only another 3 weeks till i see jonny which is nice but after that im trying not to think too hard about because the next SK muster is 2 months away!! and my exmas are all in June so im not sure if ill get chance to see him outside of sk either :S ill just have to make time. As to exams ive just started my revision this easter holiday, it was hard to get going but it seems to be fine now hmmm other than that ...

Oh yes Eddies gone to training a while ago now and seems to be doing alright and now in mid May were getting a new puppy Flora whos 3/4 lab 1/4 retriever which is nice so ill be able to get involved before uni. Which incidently is all go now went to UCLAN again and have now accepted this as my firm choice with York SJ as my reserve. Ive applied for my DSA and my finance form is checked and i just need to get a form filled in by one of my teeachers to say i am who i say i am so ... just waiting now, revision, exams, jonny and then ill be there come September its going to go so fast.

Im at daddys this weekend as you might have guess there have been some problems with tim but he has a new contract down in Nottingham again which means hell be away during the week so i can cope i guess, think i would have died what with him and Richard our lodger in anycase thats not going to happen now and i will be calm. So ... i think thats rather thats it, 3 months in nearly 3000 characters, not too bad i dont think, 1000 per month

I seem to be rambeling now and im not sure what i have left to say, if i think of anything ill be back on, i do hope to be on sooner than i have been but i have just remembered my excuse, computer broke, borrowed mummys lap top - broke have untill recently been using tims untill he was a prat (i say untill, he alwasys was) and has child locked all the comps appart from Adams in anycase, my lunch is now ready so ill be off and ill try to speak to you sooner rather than later.

Well excuse the typing - im on tims wered keyboared and i dont like it lol - the reason being that my computer is bust grrr. So im sat listening to 'wish you were here' and just chilling - i really should be revising for this exam but i really cba ive had enough i just want them to be over!!! I want it to be time for nantwitch and to see jonny I

Ive not spoken to him since friday when i asked him if we were together or nit i txt him to ask if i could ring tonight but he didnt txt me back so i think i might leave it unless he gets in touch and depending ring him tommorow.

Erm... what else, just been examing it up really and ive been to the doctors last night to get a letter about Vicky (i havent been sleeping well at all) and also bout the implant. I got this exam today then that stupid health and safety course and then probs going to see if they have an appointment for me.

Yesterday was tought, kinda sorted things with drama and had two english lessons with out her there were only 3 of us. Ive got Eng C/W to do already plus ive got to start my drama portfolio and im considering resiting the media corsework but i still need to talk to miss symons about that.

Things are going to go so fast this year its only a few weeks till half term and then a few more till easter then its my birthday then its only a month untill my proper exams and then i leave for 3 months before uni!!! Its insane!!!

Anyways i think thats about all i have to report, Eddies leaving today but i cant be with him to say goodbye so we said goodbye at the weekend i have a picture of him on his last day - ill never forget him. I'll ring daddy tonight to see how he got on.

erg well i got an E in my media mock today and then my corsework which i tried my arse of for i got a low C and Jess who handed in her first draft - it wasnt even the right word count got a D!!! and now ive had to stay at school all day doing nothing then to go to work and now i have to stay behind till 5.30 to do this stupid certificate for work.

Im sat here with fiona, eating minstrels and surfing the web
and putting the world to rights - surpose its not that bad really.

hmmm no news really its all been revision and exams really, speaking to jonny trying to find the right time to ask him where were at and working and on friday im going to see Eddie off while he goes to further training and then that night im gonna ring jonny - miss him but its only 11 days till i see him again - i can almost smell the gunpowder

Heya its been a while, i forget how long this is probably because allots happened and i also have my diary now but i must keep up with this because its going to be people access to whats going on in the wonderful world of Katherine when i got to uni in September anyways ...

my list ...christmas, new year, illness, vicky, drama, exams today, jonny erm ... well see how far that takes us. I really should check the previous post before i start writing these because i may very well be repeeating myself several times - you can tell how tiered i am becasue im rambling also im typing looking at the keyboared because ive left my glasses down stares and i cant be arsed to go and get them and looking at the screen hurts at the moment. Moving on...

1. Christmas - Went well i think got losts of stuff mainly chocolate, less books than i imagined loads of stuff to keep me warm - i really should complain about being cold less hmm... some moeny calendar and stuff etc usual really, found out the scandle on my estranged cousin but we wont go into that - family pride and all that i no your all dieing to know now lol

2. New Year - was very ill (tuned out to be tonsilitus later but at the time we thought it could be glandular fever) just managed to see in the new year and then proceeeded to be sick before going to bed in the early hours - unfortunately very little alcohol was consumed.

3. Illness has already been covered except yeah it pretty much spanned the whole hol and compleately messed up my revision plan - we had to get a note of compensation from the doctor.

4. Vicky - my friend from primary school was in a car accident just before christmas, the car was in wet conditions and she was following her dad home when the car just roled over she was air lifted to hospital but she had brain hemoraging and was in a coma they turned off the life support on boxing day morning which is when i found out - the funeral was yesterday - it was lovely and i cried allot the place was packed out their were people waiting in the foyay becuase they couldnt get them all in! Her family were in the seats and we stood around the edges, there were all our teachers there and even Mr Coats from primary school! It was amazing! and im just so glad i got to give her parents a hug.

5. Yesterday was even more stressfull because i thought that Mr Bower had screwed up for a second time and cancelled the wrong exam - turns out its better than that and hes cancelled both mocks so we can revise (ie. learn what we can on our own) before the 'external' which is, we hope, going to be treated as a mock.

6. Exams today - have gone - fuck em' resat dra 2 + 3 i doubt ive done any better but ive done my best twice now i cant do any more.

7. Jonny - i can remember where we were last time i presume it was just after christmas so weve been over the visit, if not mind your own business, erm yeah i just got off the phone to him now, im still uncertain as to wether were together or not, im going to ask him when i see him properly next but its difficult because when im with him i dont want anything to spoil it so its hard to raise arquard questions like that, anyways yeah were talking and having a laugh and that and we miss each other and yeah i love him - thats it. Im sure you all think im crazy and your probably right but im not going to deny the way i feel to a computer!

Moff now - got better things to do as you can see im in a strange indefinable mood today - my appologies - im tiered xxx

Like a gift from the heavens, it was easy to tell,
It was love from above, that could save me from hell,
She had fire in her soul it was easy to see,
How the devil himself could be pulled out of me,
There were drums in the air as she started to dance,
Every soul in the room keeping time with there hands,
And we sang

Ay oh ay oh ay oh ay,
And the voices bang like the angels sing,
We're singing
Ay oh ay oh ay oh ay,
And we danced on into the night,
Ay oh ay oh,
Ay oh ay oh,
And we danced on into the night,

Like a piece to the puzzle that falls into place,
You could tell how we felt from the look on our faces,
We was spinning in circles with the moon in our eyes,
No room left them moving between you and I,
We forgot where we were and we lost track of time,
And we sang to the wind as we danced through the night,
And we sang

Ay oh ay oh ay oh ay,
And the voices bang like the angels sing,
We're singing
Ay oh ay oh ay oh ay,
And we danced on into the night,
Ay oh ay oh,
Ay oh ay oh,
And we danced on into the night,
Ay oh ay oh,
Ay oh ay oh,
And we danced on into the night,

Like a gift from the heavens, it was easy to tell,
It was love from above, that could save me from hell,
She had fire in her soul it was easy to see,
How the devil himself could be pulled out of me,
There were drums in the air as she started to dance,
Every soul in the room keeping time with there hands,
And we sang

Ay oh ay oh ay oh ay,
And the voices bang like the angels sing,
We're singing
Ay oh ay oh ay oh ay,
And we danced on into the night,
Ay oh ay oh,
Ay oh ay oh,
And we danced on into the night,
(And the voices bang like the angels sing),
Ay oh ay oh,
Ay oh ay oh,
And we danced on into the night,
Ay oh ay oh ay oh ay,
(Ay oh ay oh),
Ay oh ay oh ay oh ay,
(Ay oh ay oh),
Singing ay oh ay oh ay oh ay,
(Ay oh ay oh),

Im horid and sweaty and recoving from illness but im happy i got lots to do today butim putting it off you know. anyway now i come to it i cant think of much to say - im tiered and i best get on so ill ts xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I couldnt bring myself to write last week. Monday was fine surprisingly but tuesday we found out that the drama exam we were all expecting to do, wasnt and that we havent done any work for either and it was an external, my dispair probably isnt tangible this late on because im trying to remain calm about it but when you realise that you have 2 plays to learn in a month and you have no more lessons before the exam you can see that you would feel a little depserate. Im trying desperately not to think about it too much because on thursday i made myself hysterical and fainted at work thursday night i was very ill and i knew that i was meant to be going to greys christmas party that weekend so i was dosed up and i tried desperately to get better.

Friday i didnt go into school or rather i did to simply hand in my 2 peices of causework. Media all i can do is hope and prey that its okay, i got a bit confused in the last couple of days and changed a load of stuff of my own bat so im just hoping its all good, it'd be fantastic if i could get a B thats what im hoping for but i recogn itll be more like a C.

My english essay didnt end up being finished in time i had to hand it in just as it was becuase i was ill. So i hope shell understand and im gonna try and finish that over the holidays. Along with all my other work and revision - no rest for the wicked.

Ah the weekend - its so hard to explain. I got a shock as to how jonny lives and everything suddenly all made sence. I realised that i love him but were not back together but neither do i think were quite single either. Its complicated. I love him. Its such a relief to know, i hope he can learn to love me back again - thats what i wish. I love him.

Christmas - was a bit of a daze to be honest a mixture of the weekend and jonny and being ill but i had a good time and it wasnt a disapointment probably because i didnt expect anything does that make sence.

I have today to sort out all my work and pack for daddys and sort out all my pressies too just generally a chill and a sorting day i think mummy might want to play games so we might do that and snack on the left overs and i might drink a bit more we have so much alcohol - its great its gonna last us ages!!!

So work im trying not to worry about because whenever i do i feel like im about to panic and thats not good i havent even started revising but what can i do? there is absolutely nothing i can do everything has conspired against me and i cant fight it i can only ride the wave and try to make the best out of it.

After today im going to daddys for our second christmas for 4 days and then near enough it'll be the new year a new chance a new opportunity - the year ill become an adult and the year ill be leaving home to become who i am - university. There has always been so many things that i wanted to change every new year but considering i entered into this year with absolutely no sence of greatful ness 17 seemed such a non entity and its been the greatest year - ive been sucessful, ive found my first boyfriend and it turns out i feel in love. This year surprisingly theres so much i want to hold onto. I just hope everythings going to be okay.