http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/'It is simply a very young girls record of her own thoughts and impressions, and consequently meant for publication.' Cecily - 'The importance of being Earnest' by Oscar Wildeen-UKMokoFeed10http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/http://data5.blog.de/design/preview/27/249433201dcdd1cc32007e70c29402_160x200.jpghttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/08/15/title-4591500/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2008-08-15:/2008/08/15/title-4591500/Fri, 15 Aug 2008 10:42:14 +0200 <p>Right well after the stress of yesterday hers a run down of my overall A levels ...</p> <p>English Literature - B<br> LTA1 B<br> LTA2 B<br> LTA3 B<br> LTA4 D<br> LTA5 A<br> LTA6 A</p> <p>Theatre Studies - C<br> DRA1 A<br> DRA2 B<br> DRA3 B<br> DRA4 A<br> DRA5 E<br> DRA6 U</p> <p>Media Studies - C<br> MED1 B<br> MED2 C<br> MED3 C<br> MED4 C<br> MED5 C<br> MED6 A</p> <p>Well i got into Preston... But i have to admit im disapointed. English was good <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0">but im disapointed with that D. Mind you not sure it would have made any difference to the overall grade <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> Media - C is fair thats the majority that i got and im still pleased with the A especially and the B. Drama - MAJORY FUCKED OFF cant believe he even dared to show his face!!! EU!!! and i was the second best in the class. Joe got an overall B with - BDE but compared to his A's last year thats appauling!!!</p> <p>I couldnt bring myself to write yesterday or the day before felt too sick.</p> <p>Went out clubbing for ems birthday was okay although not as good as before. Cant remember i i told you or not. Other than that been at Daddys for nearly a week now. Hes gone to Manchester to see lee off to Dubi today so adam and i are home alone with Eddie. Got a few things to do... got to go watch eddie after this cos adam wants a shower.</p> <p>Jonny and I are okay. Both frustrated i think and we had a semi argument about when he can come up to stay because i want two weeks to settle in - Freshers and 1 normal one before he comes up to stay which will make it a month before i see him after August Bank. I can understand why hes upset but its hard for me trying to explain.</p> <p>Anyways, cant think of anything more so ...<br> Talk soon i guess<br> Love Lots<br> Kat xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/08/15/title-4591500/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/08/15/title-4591500/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/07/20/title-4473876/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2008-07-20:/2008/07/20/title-4473876/Sun, 20 Jul 2008 14:35:46 +0200 <p>Its the first time in a while ive sat down and really looked forward to writing this. At least now ive not been avoiding you, i have just forgotten.</p> <p>Its been hard recently. So hard! </p> <p>Recently since shopping with Becky i went to my clubs and had a fantastic night. Got chatted up by 3 guys but i panicked and told them i was seeing someone. We went to Carpe which was lovely and i drank - a vodka and cranberry, then a double of malibu and coke which was lovely, then a double of vodka and coke and another double of something with vodka but it was clear - might have been lemonade... then we did a shot of apple sours which was AWFUL but i think it was also the fizz of other stuff which wasnt nice.</p> <p>We then moved to Boubon which is where the dancing happened. Yes the dancing i danced till 3 in the mouring! And it was great. I felt so guilty afterwards though. I missed him. I wished hed been there with me, to dance with me...</p> <p>Since then... ive not really done anything exciting, except on monday i tried to go give blood again and had a very bad faint. I was out for 3 mins and had a spazm - i felt awful!</p> <p>Tommorow im going for a picnic for andys birthday and then Friday im still meant to be going for a coffee with Jonny W lol. I wonder if it will happen. Then this weekend im going to my Daddys again, which i hope will be nice.</p> <p>*sighs* Jonny. Hes in everything i do. Recently, i say recently these last couple of days ive not been as obsesive. Ive been calm and controled and holding it in. I cant decide where i stand with him. Were still talking and some times we have some lovely conversations. Sometimes hes really flirty and its like old times and theres promisse and i love it. Other times its like he despises me and he doesnt know why he puts up with me, and still all i want is a bit of affection.</p> <p>He even rang me this morning which was lovely hed just woken up, i love that in his voice when hes all quiet and mumbly and dopey and i can just imagine him ... unfortunately on the phone i oouldnt really tell what he was saying to me and as usual i think that frustrated him and he didnt stay on long. Either that or he was embarassed. I love his voice. His accent. I hadnt forgoten it. It was how i remembered it. The same but hearing it...</p> <p>I hope the calm lasts and its not before another stormy outburst on my part.</p> <p>As to uni. Ive started packing for Flying Start next week because of being busy(ish) over the rest of this week. I'll be away a whole week it looks like because tims thinking of picking me up and going streight to Bodnant (an SK do) so ill be back on the Sunday night. Should have lots of things to catch up on. I'll miss him. I still txt him.</p> <p>I sometimes wonder if it would be better to make a clean break but i dont think i could stand it.</p> <p>My Needs assesment report still hasnt come through yet, still waiting for that.<br> I know my flat number now ... its 98F woop lol<br> Erm ... under a month now till results day :S hehe i just want to know now. I just want to know and prey im not disapointed.<br> Should get paid from daddy soon. Im really looking forward to being in control of that money.</p> <p>Anyways i think that about covers it.<br> Cant think of any more news. Im not sure if ill get the chance to write again untill after flying start. But in accordance with those famous words - ill be back<br> Talk soon<br> Love Kat xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/07/20/title-4473876/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/07/20/title-4473876/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/07/08/title-4420214/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2008-07-08:/2008/07/08/title-4420214/Tue, 08 Jul 2008 15:28:40 +0200 <p>Right first of all appologies for it having been so long, it isnt that ive forgoten its that ive been wilully putting it off, which im not sure is any better or worse. Reason - jonny broke up with me on the 26th. - i have no idea. I didnt realise it was that bad, i cant stand it, its horrible i cant even comprehend it. I hate it. I cant explain.</p> <p>Yesterday i went shopping with Becky because she wouldnt let me sit in alone on our aniversary. Ive been such a mess you wouldnt believe. Still am really. Tonight im going out to some clubs with Emily and Alice which should be intriguing. And then Daddys picking me up and ill be helping him out with the puppies. Thursday ill be going to see another house the parentals have fallen in love with and Friday im going for coffee with Jonny W. Im still not sure it'll come off yet but we shall see ...</p> <p>As to uni. Accomodation is sorted ill be staying in the brand new en-suit Kopa Halls which is good and as to my Assesment of needs Ive sorted that just waiting for my report from it to come through and stuff. I saw Kopa when i was there it isnt quite finished yet but it looks good. </p> <p>Anyways i better get off and get ready for tonight<br> Ill talk to you soon maybe ...<br> Kat xxxxxxxxxxxxx</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/07/08/title-4420214/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/07/08/title-4420214/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/06/23/title-4351069/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2008-06-23:/2008/06/23/title-4351069/Mon, 23 Jun 2008 11:09:09 +0200 <p>Hey, once more an update into le fabuleux destin d'Katherine Brown</p> <p>Ive finally finished my exmas, i think they all went as well as can be expected except media which im a little dubious about but that cant be helped.</p> <p>Its also been the boys birthdays so im pretty scint. Adams been a bit wiered recently i think its his ages. That sounds awfullly condescending but im serious i remember going through what he is, if indeed im not still.</p> <p>Im going to see daddy tommorow for adams birthday which im looking forward to. </p> <p>Its such a relief to have nothing to do although ive not got used to it. Its not sunk in yet. Ive been planing what im going to do. Ive been taking every oportunity to get out of the house and today i think im going to nip up to the swiming baths to get a leaflet on times and costs of things. I think im going to get fit becuase even thouhg i know i dont need it to loose weight i could do with tonning up.</p> <p>Things are still very turbulant with Jonny *sighs* Weve nearly broken up several times. Im still in the process of constructing a letter to Becky finally explaining it all its taken me so long just to be able to understand it my self though. Shes gone to Bath this weekend. I hope shes having the greatest time. She totally deserves it.</p> <p>As to uni. Accomodation is sorted!!! <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> well sort of i know where im going - Kopa halls en-suite, brand new exactly what i wanted. Contract should be through begining of July <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> eeeeeeeee i got really excited. </p> <p>Anyways i better get going.<br> Ill talk to you soon i hope.<br> Lots of Love<br> Kat xxxxxxxxxxxxx</p> <p>P.S Nich ignored me</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/06/23/title-4351069/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/06/23/title-4351069/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/06/16/dumdi-dumdi-4324286/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2008-06-16:/2008/06/16/dumdi-dumdi-4324286/Mon, 16 Jun 2008 20:21:11 +0200 <p>Hey, thought it was about time for an update but its been hard finding the time to be honest with you.</p> <p>This weekend we went to an Sk event which was okay but a bit creep and a little lonely. I missed him being there. Today ive revised up to my hilt and made myself a bit poorley earlier and i think i hurt jonny.</p> <p>Im going to see daddy tommorow at three and for tea, ive not seem him since he got back or since fathers day so i mustnt forget his present. Im looking forward to seeing the pups too <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> apparently Floras grown again <img src="/img/smilies/graybigrazz.gif" alt=":P" class="middle" border="0"> hehe</p> <p>Things are still up and down with Jonny *sighs* apprentently he cant make it to marston now so the only solid arangement we have so far is in AUGUST! I dont think i can wait that long to see him. But i think ive calmed down a bit about certain aspects of our relationship. Im going to try and tone it down. But i just want to see him ... to be with him again.</p> <p>Revisions going okay, i managed to do a hell of a lot today and even some over the weekend which i was dubious as to wether id manage it. Not sure how much of a help its going to be though. We shall see i guess.</p> <p>The bank. Dont even talk to me about the bank! i tried to ring them up about it today but it didnt work - i hate that when you dont really know what your talking about but you know its not right and they try and fob you off. Rather i shouldnt say its the bank its the council and the wages department that are fobbing me off.</p> <p>As to uni. I still havent got my accomodation sorted yet which im upset about. One sec ... jus had a spazz then about wether it had been delived but it has - over a month ago. One of my friends Laura has had hers back and i was sure that id sent mine off before her. I really hope i get en-suit :S hmm ... Furthermore my Assesment of needs is all set up. Apointment on the 2nd of July infact i should collar mummy to book those after ive finished this.</p> <p>Subjectwise ... Everything (bar media) has gone better than i expected although im not sure if ive done enough. Im really not convinced about media i didnt write an awful lot i was knackered when i went into the exam ... I just dont know. But its done now and i only have the one left and i need to focus on that although right now id say i was more or less on track with it. Just wish me luck.</p> <p>Insidently DV8 were amazing!!! I wanted to go again but mummy and tim wernt intrested but it was really really great. I loved it! But its touring now and i doubt ill ever get another oportunity to see it. But i shall remember it. <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Friends - Jonny W's been textin me quite a bit to get in touch, says he misses our convos and i have to say i do too. He does seem sincer but i just hope im not being gullable and being drawn in again at least this time i know what to expect as they say 'shame on me if you fool me once, shame on me if you fool me twice'<br> Becky, dearest most constant becky, ive been out of touch <em>again</em> im such a bad friend but we both have exmas which finish (finally) on friday and then shes going away to bath but when we get back weve both promised each other a shopping trip <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> which has been yet again a long time coming! lol.</p> <p>Anyways i better get off to colar tim to help me book these tickets <img src="/img/smilies/graybigrazz.gif" alt=":P" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Ill talk to you soon i hope.<br> Lots of Love<br> Kat xxxxxxxxxxxxx</p> <p>P.S ive added nich on facebook. I wonder if well actually get some comunication from him for a change ... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/06/16/dumdi-dumdi-4324286/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/06/16/dumdi-dumdi-4324286/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/06/02/title-4257942/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2008-06-02:/2008/06/02/title-4257942/Mon, 02 Jun 2008 12:03:57 +0200 <p>Hey hey, <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Jus on a break, thought id catch up about my current happeneings. errm... I guess it has only been a couple of days.</p> <p>Went to my dads last weekend maily to keep tim out of my hair. Played with the puppies, revised a bit went for walks with daddy and Eddie. Daddys going on holiday to Jersey soon so we wont see him for at least two weeks ... so ... I also cried alot. Jonny and i had our first real kind of argument about this tatoo. But you know weve sorted it, its not perfect as i keep saying but i know well get through it - throughout everything I still love him.</p> <p>Revisions going okay, i keep thinking im maybe not focused enough or that im not gonna have enought time but what can i do i can only stick to my plan and do my best. I must remember that no matter what i do its not wasted time. Im pretty proud of myself this time though. Im not as stressed at all! My back n sholders are a bit tensed up but i think thats normal. I cant really avoid that and a focused amount of tention i guess is good for the adrenaline <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>The bank and wages are being sorted now <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> I should get my pay in with this months so thats only like 2 weeks, i guess i can cope till then <img src="/img/smilies/graybigrazz.gif" alt=":P" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p>Ooooh and Ive litteraly just got a letter confirming my place on the flying start course <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> hope its gonna be good hehe...</p> <p>In Subjectswith English i think its going okay. Its just the fact that there closed book now. Its jus reminding myself of the themes and characters and everything for the exam etc lol Plus the quotes.</p> <p>Theatre is okay like ives said im putting Brecht and the unseen totally on hold. And the others im feeling better about i feel im getting to grips with the characters, themes and plots but ive still yet to come to the nitty gritty of the theatre elements! And its all about time after all. Were going to see DV8 on Wednesday. I actually cant wait it should be really good. That reminds me i must ring charlotte tonight about the arangements for that.</p> <p>Media plodding along. I actually feel quite ignorant about it. I know its my weekest subject but if i can manage to get a B in this exam. I get a B overall. Im not sure how likely that is however ... ner mind. As long as i get a C in everything i guess ill live.</p> <p>Got a revision class tommorow and then DV8 on Weds n then a day clear before my first exam :S had a bit of a spazz the other day when i tuned over my calender and saw my mass of highlighting letters and numbers ah well this time in 4 weeks itll all be over!!! Bloody hell lol.</p> <p>Anyways i guess thats it for now <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Talk soon<br> Love Kat xxxxx</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/06/02/title-4257942/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/06/02/title-4257942/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/05/30/title-4246700/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2008-05-30:/2008/05/30/title-4246700/Fri, 30 May 2008 12:30:47 +0200 <p>Im having a break from revision. This is not good seeing as ive barely even started today.<br> But im destracted ... Jonny's dropped another bombshell.<br> He wants a tatoo.<br> I dont know what to do - hes nothing i expected ... I still love him but god were so different, why do these things that go against my grain so fundementally have to be a part of him, im not sure whats even going on everythings out of control.</p> <p>I miss him so much. <img src="/img/smilies/icon_cry.gif" alt=":'(" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Better get back to it. Theres nothing more to say really. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/05/30/title-4246700/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/05/30/title-4246700/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/05/18/title-4190088/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2008-05-18:/2008/05/18/title-4190088/Sun, 18 May 2008 16:40:30 +0200 <p>I just fancied typing to be honest. Going on and on pressing the keys in a rhythme of my own. Not sure what to write i cant remember when it last was. Its the weekend right now. Ive done all i need to - i could go and revise some more but somehow i just cant bring myself to do it - im into it now so im not all that worried, i think im on task and i know (vaugly) where im going with it. Everythings fine i think bar rep and drama but reps just my nevers and drama - well theres nothing i can do. Last week tommorow only 4 days because i dont have any lessons on friday but im going in anyway. Just to see every one - 1 last time. I am going to miss them. I worked out i have less than 5 of each lesson left. Its starting to hit home now just how breif this is going to be i mean hell its what ... 18 weeks untill we go to uni! Thats ... 105 days untill the first of September which is aproximately when ill be off!!! 105 days at home. Thats all. Bloody hell.</p> <p>Jonnys fine. He was really sweet last night - rang me about 4 times lol the last time he was drunk - i could tell becuase he sounds like hes from Biringham he said 'im just ringing to let you know that i love you.' and i said 'what again, how drunk are you Jonny' - 'quite a bit' it sounded so cute though hehe bless him. I was worried about him though - why should i be worried? But i was.</p> <p>Ive been reading allot of poetry recently. Id like to write some more but im out of practice and mine never seems to be enough. So i dont. During the hols i want to write some more of my stories too but now i think about them there so mundane and ordinary. I might just work on a new 'scrap book of inspiration'. Thats a good term isnt it ill put it in quotation marks and then i own it <img src="/img/smilies/graybigrazz.gif" alt=":P" class="middle" border="0"> ...there hehe thats going to be wierd to read but anyway. Yeah i mean my pillow book i was upset when i filled the other one i just wanted it to go on and on. Ah well you know what they say about all good things. I should make a list of all the things im going to do during the hols. I cant remember if ive got one or not... No i dont i'll have to make one and re-do a reading list, but maybe that can be part of it. I never stick to them i guess. Lets see what can go on?</p> <p>Uni reading list<br> Cook<br> Poetry<br> Stories<br> 'Scrapbook of inspiration' (Pillow book)<br> Pack for uni (see uni list)<br> DVD's<br> Shop for uni<br> errrrrmmmm</p> <p>nah cant think of anything more.<br> Pffft im sure there were all sorts of stuff meh we'll see.<br> Im boared im not sure what to do with myself. Might go make a cup off tea seems to me thats Jonnys answer to everything.<br> BLAHBLAHBLAH<br> onandonandon lol<br> yeah sorry ill leave know <img src="/img/smilies/icon_wink.gif" alt=";)" class="middle" border="0"> X </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/05/18/title-4190088/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/05/18/title-4190088/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/05/15/well-hello-there-4176272/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2008-05-15:/2008/05/15/well-hello-there-4176272/Thu, 15 May 2008 09:06:39 +0200 <p>One moment mother wishes me to do the dishwasher ...<img src="/img/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" class="middle" border="0"> so yes anyway ... feeling quite positive today that might have something to do with the lie in i had today however and the lovely shower so im all <img src="/img/smilies/icon_lol.gif" alt=":DD" class="middle" border="0"> lol erm other than that, whats new.</p> <p>Not a right lot really everthings sorted (ish) for going to jonnys ive finally got into revision now that the work seems to have slacked off a little which is gurrd.</p> <p>I hope beckys been alright, weve been a bit distant lately, praps my fault ... not sure.<br> Jonnys okay hes got a job so ... not really had allot to talk about im just hoping that next weekend will be great.</p> <p>ooooohhhhh i got an A in my english literature coursework <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> aernt you proud lol i was hehe which means i go into all the exams with an A in each subject behind me <img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Im talking rubish lol not sure where im really going with this. Ive applied for this flying start thing in the summer and im still sorting out this DSA thing although hopefully it'll all be sorted by this evening.</p> <p>Listening to Paramore - really into them at the moment. errrmm other than that nothing really presents itself might go and read or revise for a while untill i have to go to school <img src="/img/smilies/icon_cool.gif" alt="B)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Talk soon<br> xxxxxxxxxx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/05/15/well-hello-there-4176272/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/05/15/well-hello-there-4176272/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/05/09/yet-another-4152627/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2008-05-09:/2008/05/09/yet-another-4152627/Fri, 09 May 2008 16:18:55 +0200 <p>fill in, cant help it i just really feel in need of sorting out my head.</p> <p>Right well English - just had our last ever friday period 5 hated lesson and the number of lessons left i can count on the fingers of one hand :S however i do feel alot better about LTA6 so thats good i feel more in control, i still have a timed one to do sometime this weekend however as for LTA5 <strong>QUOTES, QUOTES, QUOTES</strong> lol and revision guide - just need time which is apparently the one thing i havent got - aint it always the way!</p> <p>Theatre - had Mrs Hadley for our last but one double friday lesson and had an overview i feel alot better about DRA 6 now which i had been worried about and have, i think, decided to leave it untill my other exams are all over - ill still have a week to revise that alone, i may review what i have to do to make sure but ... thats the plan atm.</p> <p>Media - nothing really to report same, although not had a lesson with Symons for ages which is worrying.</p> <p>Jonny's fine, hes had a job today and all being well he will next week too <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> which is good, ive not spoken to him today but ill ring him tonight - itll have boared him but hes getting money. I really dont know what to suggest...</p> <p>As to letters and uni, i think ive managed to sort all my letters now. Ive had one today saying theyve got my accomodation aplication and a lady from DSA rang me the other day to talk to me about my needs assesment. Ive told them that im happy to have it at Preston and ive talked to mummy about (personally i think this is a stroke of genius) going down to it, if its not too expensive on the train and then i have an experience of the journey. I still have my phone to unlock however.</p> <p>Recently and for no apparent reason, ive been missing my family, id been looking forward to seeing daddy next weekend but it turns out thats the weekend hes cancelled and i hadnt realised so im not going to see him for at least 3 weeks unless i go sometime during the week, a bit down hearted about that. And i was walking home today and often granny and grandad come on a friday and i realised they wernt coming and i felt sad about that too ... i dont know whats wrong with me i was talking to becky about it earlier usually i dont give a shit about my grandparents and i said to her "you'd have thought that by now id have got used to my dad not being arround its rediculous that i still miss him, i mean ive lived longer without him than i ever had with him." This actually stopped me in my tracks as i typed it realising it was true - it made me cry! I cant actually believe that ... i feel his lack...</p> <p>I read a beautifull poem the other day 'Perhaps' by Vera Brittain ... im just writing as things occur to me know ...</p> <p>Perhaps some day the sun will shine again,<br> And I shall see that still the skies are blue,<br> And feel once more I do not live in vain,<br> Although <u>bereft</u> of You.</p> <p>Perhaps the golden meadows at my feet<br> Will make the sunny hours of spring seem gay,<br> And I shall find the white May-blossoms sweet,<br> Though You have passed away.</p> <p>Perhaps the summer woods will shimmer bright,<br> And crimson roses once again be fair,<br> And autumn harvest fields a rich delight,<br> Although You are not there.</p> <p>But though kind Time may many joys renew,<br> There is one greatest joy I shall not know<br> Again, because my heart for loss of You<br> Was broken, long ago.</p> <p>At the time, this made me thing of jonny and him living far away but more in the fore front of my mind was one of the poems my mum wrote for Philip ( i must not forget that that is what id like my son to be called ) ...</p> <p>I sat, and watched,<br> and saw your glorious life just fade away.<br> I felt so proud, so full of love and pain<br> So privilaged to be chosen to share your last moments on earth.</p> <p>But Oh! How desolate that moment was -<br> Your greatest triumph my greatest loss.</p> <p>The night we spent before -<br> How precious, how full of tenderness and despair.<br> A night of gentle talk, when looks spoke more certainly than words.</p> <p>It seemed to me, that night should never end.<br> But end it did and with it took your life.</p> <p>I sat, and watched.<br> Each breath you took more shallow than the last<br> Each pulse that beat, a throb less strong.<br> Untill with an ease so subtle, so shocking, it nearly made me faint.</p> <p>You died.</p> <p>And from that split second of time, that moment,<br> When i was wrenched from wife to widowhood<br> Ive missed you.<br> The hurt began streight away<br> And still it bites<br> Deep, cold, sure and clean to the very quick.</p> <p>Later, when i scattered peacefull ashes<br> one golden evening on an autumn breeze<br> at the place we loved so well<br> The fading sunlight caught at the notes<br> It made them dance and sparkle like my unsed tears<br> And i thought<br> How typical of you to shine for me even after death. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/05/09/yet-another-4152627/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/05/09/yet-another-4152627/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/05/09/title-4152509/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2008-05-09:/2008/05/09/title-4152509/Fri, 09 May 2008 15:43:34 +0200 <p>Today ive spent catching up on what ive missed. I worked out ive missed 4 days of work recently and 3 days of lessons! And ive still not got in the revision zone but i cant when ive got so much work etc to sort out!!!</p> <p>The weekend was okay, had a fight with jonny which i think has cleared things up we were not on the same wave length but everything seems fine. I got my arm hut but its fine now and the weathers been glorious.</p> <p>I missed out on prom - but i knew that, i do regret it a bit but ... it was my decision and they took my photograph and missed me so at least i was thought of - it realy kindled my heart did that, it was a beautiful moment to know that i was loved.</p> <p>Things with jonny are okay now were still trying to sort out these damn train tickets!! Which is pissing me off i just want it to be sorted now. Another thing thats hanging over me is that although ive now got my beautiful phone i need to get it unlocked lol. And i keep getting loads of letters lol. The bank and wages are being complicated atm, im not sure whats going on there ... And beckys writen to me i need to find time to answer that at some point, ive been really neglecting her but what can i do with msn being prohibated (word of the day lol -just decided) we really need to catch up - its scarey to think though that in 7 weeks itll all be over! No going back.</p> <p>Ive now sorted out all my Uni acomodation applied for and the Flying Start corse and i got a letter the other day saying that theyve processed my DSA application so thats on the run now - everything is getting sorted and the balls rolling... ive said to mummy that at least now im on top of things in that area and if it doesnt come off its not because of me being lax as ive sent them off asap.</p> <p>In Subjects... Lets start with English - no change really jus poddling along learning, not relly got into revision yet at all! need to do quotes Ive got some questions to do at some point ... other than that not allot to report.</p> <p>Theatre - great news! The practicle is over and done with theres been so much drama in drama leading up to it i wont boar you with all the details only the aaron, beth, amy triangle got in the way ... beth said she wasnt coming and then did. Dress rehersal was apauling - D grade and finally we managed to pull it off. I got top mark with Performance 45/50, Portfolio 20/25 and Preparation 24/24 giving an overall grade of 89/100 or 89% = A i was excstatic. Joe also got an A, Aaron and Hannah got B's Charlotte missed out on a B by 1 mark!!! And Lewis broke up with her the day before - i was so gutted for her! (and beth got a D but i dont even care anymore) Now thats over with were jus getting hand outs that were scanning in class, most or which was repetition of other sheets weve done - revision for that i think will jus be highlighting and condensing it *shruggs* its really does seem pointless.</p> <p>Media - Missed quite allot of this im going to have to get the DVD's and notes from rach. Again revision on this front not going so well bit confused about it all tbh need to get my notes organised i think. And sort out case study sheets n that. Jus been catchin up on what ive missed with rach - dunt sound like a right lot actually.</p> <p>This kinda thing really helps me to organise my life lol dont know what id do with out it writing it all down seems to make it so much more managable somehow ...</p> <p>Anyway i hope that fulfills everything ... Not sure that theres much left to repot if there is ill tell you later.</p> <p>Talk soon<br> Kat xxxxxxx</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/05/09/title-4152509/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/05/09/title-4152509/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/05/07/erg-i-just-needed-to-write-a-post-to-cle-4143641/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2008-05-07:/2008/05/07/erg-i-just-needed-to-write-a-post-to-cle-4143641/Wed, 07 May 2008 16:16:28 +0200 <p>God whats going on in my life? lol im not even clear.</p> <p>Today i woke up and was violently sick, i think after the curry last night, but ive been feeling shite all day. Im feeling better now although not 100% at all although ive just finished spealong to Jonny which might have something to do with it. I cant believe its 10 months today!!!</p> <p>Today ive spent catching up on what ive missed. I worked out ive missed 4 days of work recently and 3 days of lessons! And ive still not got in the revision zone but i cant when ive got so much work etc to sort out!!!</p> <p>The weekend was okay, had a fight with jonny <img src="/img/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" class="middle" border="0"> which i think has cleared things up we were not on the same wave length but everything seems fine. I got my arm hut but its fine now and the weathers been glorious.</p> <p>I missed out on prom - but i knew that, i do regret it a bit but ... it was my decision and they took my photograph and missed me so at least i was thought of - it realy kindled my heart did that, it was a beautiful moment to know that i was loved.</p> <p>Things with jonny are okay now were still trying to sort out these damn train tickets!! Which is pissing me off i just want it to be sorted now. Another thing thats hanging over me is that although ive now got my beautiful phone i need to get it unlocked lol. And i keep getting loads of letters lol. The bank and wages are being complicated atm, im not sure whats going on there ... And beckys writen to me i need to find time to answer that at some point, ive been really neglecting her but what can i do with msn being prohibated (word of the day lol -just decided <img src="/img/smilies/graybigrazz.gif" alt=":P" class="middle" border="0">) we really need to catch up - its scarey to think though that in 7 weeks itll all be over! No going back.</p> <p>Ive now sorted out all my Uni acomodation applied for and the Flying Start corse and i got a letter the other day saying that theyve processed my DSA application so thats on the run now - everything is getting sorted and the balls rolling... ive said to mummy that at least now im on top of things in that area and if it doesnt come off its not because of me being lax as ive sent them off asap.</p> <p>In Subjects... Lets start with English - no change really jus poddling along learning, not relly got into revision yet at all! <strong>need to do quotes</strong> Ive got some questions to do at some point ... other than that not allot to report.</p> <p>Theatre - great news! The practicle is over and done with theres been so much drama in drama leading up to it i wont boar you with all the details only the aaron, beth, amy triangle got in the way ... beth said she wasnt coming and then did. Dress rehersal was apauling - D grade and finally we managed to pull it off. I got top mark with Performance 45/50, Portfolio 20/25 and Preparation 24/24 giving an overall grade of 89/100 or 89% = A <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> i was excstatic. Joe also got an A, Aaron and Hannah got B's Charlotte missed out on a B by 1 mark!!! And Lewis broke up with her the day before - i was so gutted for her! (and beth got a D but i dont even care anymore) Now thats over with were jus getting hand outs that were scanning in class, most or which was repetition of other sheets weve done - revision for that i think will jus be <strong>highlighting and condensing it</strong> *shruggs* its really does seem pointless.</p> <p>Media - Missed quite allot of this im going to have to get the DVD's and notes from rach. Again revision on this front not going so well bit confused about it all tbh <strong>need to get my notes organised i think. And sort out case study sheets n that.</strong> Jus been catchin up on what ive missed with rach - dunt sound like a right lot actually.</p> <p>This kinda thing really helps me to organise my life lol dont know what id do with out it writing it all down seems to make it so much more managable somehow ...</p> <p>Anyway i hope that fulfills everything ... Not sure that theres much left to repot if there is ill tell you later.</p> <p>Talk soon<br> Kat xxxxxxx</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/05/07/erg-i-just-needed-to-write-a-post-to-cle-4143641/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/05/07/erg-i-just-needed-to-write-a-post-to-cle-4143641/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/04/23/title-4084756/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2008-04-23:/2008/04/23/title-4084756/Wed, 23 Apr 2008 18:13:07 +0200 <p>Ive been very busy, i thought the other day i had nothing to say but when i sat down and thought about it came to me that i really do and then i got overwhelmed and couldnt even face writing about them.</p> <p>Okay first and foremost - School. Well im chugging along, not allot of revision is happening at all :S im worried about myself i just cant seem to get my head in the game at all, im hoping itll all come together once ive got this damn drama practicle out of the way, at least now im seeing an improvement but im still worried. Drama is as i say hectic and yet not allot is going on (dont even talk to me about the written exams!) English its all war at the moment im feelin a bit in limbo with it, it just doesnt intrest me and the exams are looming im concerned that there all closed book and just how well do i know them without the book is a very good question - LEARN QUOTES LEARN QUOTES LEARN QUOTES lol Media once again chugging along, im so relieve i only have that one exam and now genre seems to be coming together but rep does seem still to be a bit incongruent :S what can i say apart from the revision im doing my best. (which does seem to be rather a contradiction in terms, in fact i probable should be revising now instead of beating myself up about not revising but i need a break!)</p> <p>I saw andy today, i love andy, ive really missed him (weve not spoken for ages!) hes a real gent and looking amazingly good. Anyways despite his aestheticly pleasing and somewhat surprising qualities (perhaps they have just occured to me because he now seems comfortable in his skin, also for anyone that cares maybe i should add the context that hes gay)Anyway becak to the point he asked me 'hows life, excluding school' i thought this was a particularly thoughtfull question because if i exclude all worries about exam pressure, revision, homework, people and natural frickards at school then my life (although allot emptier and perhaps calmer) is going well!</p> <p>Despite what i say, i think i am on track to go to uni and get the job i want. Im in love with jonny and i think that thats only emphasised by things being a bit arquard at the moment, we had a really good and truthful conversation which although has caused some rifts has as jonny quite rightly said made us realise that 'you love me enough to be honest' which is quite quite true <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> it may also be because were playing the waiting game again. (9 days now, then 4 days together) Hopefully, if i can work it out this weekend ill be going to see him at the end of may too just before my exams so we can both get through June, when anything other than revision, traveling, exams and the occational panic attack will be minimal that includes eating, sleeping and breathing lol.</p> <p>Erm what else, had a massive sort out of moneys the other day, now that im 18 everythings changed in that area. ive opened an online ISA and have now only got one working current account that my wage goes in (its an updated version of the old one and means i get a checkbook n everything (ooooh posh i hear you cry <img src="/img/smilies/graybigrazz.gif" alt=":P" class="middle" border="0">) I got Joan to transfer my wage today and that should all come through soon.</p> <p>Also breaking news on the Eddie front!!! Do you want the good news or the bad news first? [bad news] He failed as a guide dog!!! (apparently he doesnt like motorbikes going past him and also - he doesnt like to work!!! [daddys quite offended that people keep insinuating that this is his bad influence lol] it does however bring back memories of him lying down on the drive as a puppy and not wanting to go out even as an older puppy) [the good news] we get him back on friday <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> and even better daddy and Pat have decided to still keep Flora so Eddie can help bring her up and if that works out keep getting Puppies hehe. So i think all in all thats generally good news.</p> <p>Ive now got a hell of a lot of money in my money box at home too ( i genuinely am in the money) so im going to buy that new phone in due corse and ive got to pay for my drivers licence which is nearly all sorted out. Not sure what else i have to sort out. This weekend i much sort phone with tim, sort comps with tim, sort trains with tim...</p> <p>not sure what else, im fairly tiered now not sure what im gonna do i was meant to call jonny today but i spoke to him earlier and sed do you mind if i dont ring cos i have allot of work to do but ive also got alot of work done... i want to ring him but i guess ive arranged it that way now, i shall try to wait for tommorow but we shall see ... Im going to go for a shower soon and sort what im going to do, be it revision or just looking through and anotating some articles, who knows ... i have this problem of priorotising at the moment and wanting to finish one thing before i start something knew, who knows ... you see my train of thought waffely and yet inconclusive lol</p> <p>and with that i better sign off with the P.S HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOOD OLD SHAKES <img src="/img/smilies/graybigrazz.gif" alt=":P" class="middle" border="0"> xxxxx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/04/23/title-4084756/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/04/23/title-4084756/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/04/15/birthday-ness-4046681/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2008-04-15:/2008/04/15/birthday-ness-4046681/Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:30:37 +0200 <p>It went really well <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> Becky came round on friday night (i was totally unprepared) and a bit of a mess but she took it really well we watched the history boys and slept over n then talked on the monday morning untill Jonny arrived, it was a mazing to see him. Although i felt a bit guilty cos i couldnt keep my hands off him and i hope that becky didnt feel left out. We didnt do a right lot jus sat around and chilled but i really loved it. I went to get changed and had a bit of a calamity but it all went okay in the end. Ganny and Grandad arrived and i opened my presents.</p> <p>I got loads of money - near enough £200 because Granny and Grandad gave me a cheque for £100!!! I was gob smacked. I also got quite a bit of stationary etc and jewelry and a few books including a book by Peter Brooke <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> and a dictionary of myth and fable which looks great <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> but adam gave me a lovely powder flask and my mum had had my writing sloap rejuvinated is the wrong word ... restored? you get the general idea and its beautiful but the best birthday present was seeing jonny. </p> <p>We went to the restaurant and met my dad and Pat, and Jonny met my dad which he was a bit nervous about and so was i, but i couldnt do anything about it so ... (he only realised hed be meeting them on the thursday when i rang him and he asked who was going, apparently he got off the phone and said to maddy 'its gonna be like meet the family day) but i think they got on alright and everything, they shook hands and jonny thanked him for paying and everything - i hope daddy likes him, i like him. I love him.</p> <p>We all got home quite late and we were tiered but we talked for a bit. It was wonderful waking up next to him and knowing that i didnt have to get up and rush back to my tent. Unfortunately Becky had to get up to go because part of her family were coming round for her part of our birthday celebrations, i just hope she enjoyed herself, she seemed to be getting on really well with adam which was nice <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> Then Jonny, Maddy, Adam and i just monged untill 3 ish when they had to go. I miss him so much but what can i say, its the way things are at the moment and we deal with it. </p> <p>Yesterday I went to school and delt with the early morning Laura gave me some sweets and reminded me to stay a kid <img src="/img/smilies/graybigrazz.gif" alt=":P" class="middle" border="0"> and alice gave me a ring that id actually been considering buying in accesorise. In drama they wrapped me up in a birthday banner which was kind of fun and in the afternoon daddy and Pat came round to give me a couple of presents because Pat likes to do things on the day n stuff and i got some more money and a necklace and an orcid which ive been wanting for a while and Daddy gave me a small lava lamp which is nice, ive wanted one of my own for quite a while so. </p> <p>I was on the phone to Jonny for an hour and a half and so he was kind of there at the time i turned 18 at 9.00 pm which was nice. And really my birthday continues untill the weekend because im going to my dads to celebrate there aswell. <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0">I guess im kinda spoilt. I think though that its been the best birthday yet. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/04/15/birthday-ness-4046681/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/04/15/birthday-ness-4046681/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/04/05/wow-it-certainly-has-been-a-long-time-s-3998515/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2008-04-05:/2008/04/05/wow-it-certainly-has-been-a-long-time-s-3998515/Sat, 05 Apr 2008 12:07:07 +0200 <p>Yes well what can i say ive been busy, it was only when i got an email from these people tis morning that it even crossed my mind to write, also talking to pat about a blog too.</p> <p>*sighs* right so to fill in since january gosh. well lets start with school thats the easy part, ive finished my resits and mangaged to move up to A in drama, B in english, and stayed a C in Media but mircale of miracles i managed to get an A in the actuall exam so i need to get a B in my genre and rep to get a B overall!!! which is nice, i was pretty exstatic. Since then ive been doing drafts adn drafts of corsework and preparing for our drama practicle which is still worrying and has been a bit of a mess but weve managed to get mrs hadley back in for a time which is nice.</p> <p>Things with jonny are as perfect as they can be at the moment (were back together by the way, what can i say it turned out nothing had changed we still felt exacltly the same about each other when we were apart as when we were together so nothing had changed really apart from us taring ourselves apart.) i saw him for a few hours at Nantwitch and then waited aaaaggggeesss to see him at Caldicot a couple of weekends ago which was AMAZING <img src="/img/smilies/icon_wink.gif" alt=";)" class="middle" border="0">and, although im not meant to know hes coming down (up) a week today for my 18th <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> although its meant to be a surprise so shhh.</p> <p>So about my 18th well ive found out its between 10 + 20 people and i know about 11 of them so ... Daddy, Pat, Granny, Grandad, Adam, Mummy, Tim, Jonny, Maddy and Becky my best friend from Pontefract. Oh and me so thats 11. I know a few pressents and jonny gave me 2 early so ... what else. </p> <p>After my birthday its only another 3 weeks till i see jonny which is nice but after that im trying not to think too hard about because the next SK muster is 2 months away!! and my exmas are all in June so im not sure if ill get chance to see him outside of sk either :S ill just have to make time. As to exams ive just started my revision this easter holiday, it was hard to get going but it seems to be fine now <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0">hmmm other than that ...</p> <p>Oh yes Eddies gone to training a while ago now and seems to be doing alright and now in mid May were getting a new puppy Flora whos 3/4 lab 1/4 retriever which is nice so ill be able to get involved before uni. Which incidently is all go now went to UCLAN again and have now accepted this as my firm choice with York SJ as my reserve. Ive applied for my DSA and my finance form is checked and i just need to get a form filled in by one of my teeachers to say i am who i say i am so ... just waiting now, revision, exams, jonny and then ill be there come September its going to go so fast.</p> <p>Im at daddys this weekend as you might have guess there have been some problems with tim but he has a new contract down in Nottingham again which means hell be away during the week so i can cope i guess, think i would have died what with him and Richard our lodger <img src="/img/smilies/icon_evil.gif" alt=">:-[" class="middle" border="0"> in anycase thats not going to happen now and i will be calm. So ... i think thats rather thats it, 3 months in nearly 3000 characters, not too bad i dont think, 1000 per month <img src="/img/smilies/graybigrazz.gif" alt=":P" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I seem to be rambeling now and im not sure what i have left to say, if i think of anything ill be back on, i do hope to be on sooner than i have been but i have just remembered my excuse, computer broke, borrowed mummys lap top - broke have untill recently been using tims untill he was a prat (i say untill, he alwasys was) and has child locked all the comps appart from Adams <img src="/img/smilies/icon_crazy.gif" alt=":crazy:" class="middle" border="0"> in anycase, my lunch is now ready so ill be off and ill try to speak to you sooner rather than later. <img src="/img/smilies/icon_wave.gif" alt=":wave:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/04/05/wow-it-certainly-has-been-a-long-time-s-3998515/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/04/05/wow-it-certainly-has-been-a-long-time-s-3998515/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/01/22/im_very_boared~3614019/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2008-01-22:/2008/01/22/im_very_boared~3614019/Tue, 22 Jan 2008 10:37:37 +0100 <p>Well excuse the typing - im on tims wered keyboared and i dont like it lol - the reason being that my computer is bust grrr. So im sat listening to 'wish you were here' and just chilling - i really should be revising for this exam but i really cba ive had enough i just want them to be over!!! I want it to be time for nantwitch and to see jonny <img src="/img/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" class="middle" border="0"> I</p> <p>Ive not spoken to him since friday when i asked him if we were together or nit i txt him to ask if i could ring tonight but he didnt txt me back so i think i might leave it unless he gets in touch and depending ring him tommorow. </p> <p>Erm... what else, just been examing it up really and ive been to the doctors last night to get a letter about Vicky (i havent been sleeping well at all) and also bout the implant. I got this exam today then that stupid health and safety course and then probs going to see if they have an appointment for me.</p> <p>Yesterday was tought, kinda sorted things with drama and had two english lessons with out her there were only 3 of us. Ive got Eng C/W to do already plus ive got to start my drama portfolio and im considering resiting the media corsework but i still need to talk to miss symons about that.</p> <p>Things are going to go so fast this year its only a few weeks till half term and then a few more till easter then its my birthday then its only a month untill my proper exams and then i leave for 3 months before uni!!! Its insane!!!</p> <p>Anyways i think thats about all i have to report, Eddies leaving today but i cant be with him to say goodbye so we said goodbye at the weekend i have a picture of him on his last day - ill never forget him. I'll ring daddy tonight to see how he got on. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/01/22/im_very_boared~3614019/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/01/22/im_very_boared~3614019/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/01/15/grrr_bad_day~3580956/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2008-01-15:/2008/01/15/grrr_bad_day~3580956/Tue, 15 Jan 2008 16:20:47 +0100 <p>erg well i got an E in my media mock today and then my corsework which i tried my arse of for i got a low C and Jess who handed in her first draft - it wasnt even the right word count got a D!!! and now ive had to stay at school all day doing nothing then to go to work and now i have to stay behind till 5.30 to do this stupid certificate for work.</p> <p>Im sat here with fiona, eating minstrels and surfing the web<br> and putting the world to rights - surpose its not that bad really.</p> <p>hmmm no news really its all been revision and exams really, speaking to jonny trying to find the right time to ask him where were at and working and on friday im going to see Eddie off while he goes to further training and then that night im gonna ring jonny - miss him but its only 11 days till i see him again - i can almost smell the gunpowder <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/01/15/grrr_bad_day~3580956/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/01/15/grrr_bad_day~3580956/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/01/09/title~3552311/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2008-01-09:/2008/01/09/title~3552311/Wed, 09 Jan 2008 18:19:48 +0100 <p>Heya its been a while, i forget how long this is probably because allots happened and i also have my diary now but i must keep up with this because its going to be people access to whats going on in the wonderful world of Katherine when i got to uni in September anyways ...</p> <p>my list ...christmas, new year, illness, vicky, drama, exams today, jonny erm ... well see how far that takes us. I really should check the previous post before i start writing these because i may very well be repeeating myself several times - you can tell how tiered i am becasue im rambling also im typing looking at the keyboared because ive left my glasses down stares and i cant be arsed to go and get them and looking at the screen hurts at the moment. Moving on...</p> <p>1. Christmas - Went well i think got losts of stuff mainly chocolate, less books than i imagined loads of stuff to keep me warm - i really should complain about being cold less hmm... some moeny calendar and stuff etc usual really, found out the scandle on my estranged cousin but we wont go into that - family pride and all that <img src="/img/smilies/icon_razz.gif" alt=":p" class="middle" border="0"> i no your all dieing to know now lol</p> <p>2. New Year - was very ill (tuned out to be tonsilitus later but at the time we thought it could be glandular fever) just managed to see in the new year and then proceeeded to be sick before going to bed in the early hours - unfortunately very little alcohol was consumed.</p> <p>3. Illness has already been covered except yeah it pretty much spanned the whole hol and compleately messed up my revision plan - we had to get a note of compensation from the doctor.</p> <p>4. Vicky - my friend from primary school was in a car accident just before christmas, the car was in wet conditions and she was following her dad home when the car just roled over she was air lifted to hospital but she had brain hemoraging and was in a coma they turned off the life support on boxing day morning which is when i found out - the funeral was yesterday - it was lovely and i cried allot the place was packed out their were people waiting in the foyay becuase they couldnt get them all in! Her family were in the seats and we stood around the edges, there were all our teachers there and even Mr Coats from primary school! It was amazing! and im just so glad i got to give her parents a hug.</p> <p>5. Yesterday was even more stressfull because i thought that Mr Bower had screwed up for a second time and cancelled the wrong exam - turns out its better than that and hes cancelled both mocks so we can revise (ie. learn what we can on our own) before the 'external' which is, we hope, going to be treated as a mock.</p> <p>6. Exams today - have gone - fuck em' resat dra 2 + 3 i doubt ive done any better but ive done my best twice now i cant do any more.</p> <p>7. Jonny - i can remember where we were last time i presume it was just after christmas so weve been over the visit, if not mind your own business, erm yeah i just got off the phone to him now, im still uncertain as to wether were together or not, im going to ask him when i see him properly next but its difficult because when im with him i dont want anything to spoil it so its hard to raise arquard questions like that, anyways yeah were talking and having a laugh and that and we miss each other and yeah i love him - thats it. Im sure you all think im crazy and your probably right but im not going to deny the way i feel to a computer!</p> <p>Moff now - got better things to do as you can see im in a strange indefinable mood today - my appologies - im tiered xxx</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/01/09/title~3552311/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2008/01/09/title~3552311/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/12/30/into_the_night_and_others~3506403/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2007-12-30:/2007/12/30/into_the_night_and_others~3506403/Sun, 30 Dec 2007 13:01:03 +0100 <p>Like a gift from the heavens, it was easy to tell,<br> It was love from above, that could save me from hell,<br> She had fire in her soul it was easy to see,<br> How the devil himself could be pulled out of me,<br> There were drums in the air as she started to dance,<br> Every soul in the room keeping time with there hands,<br> And we sang</p> <p>Ay oh ay oh ay oh ay,<br> And the voices bang like the angels sing,<br> We're singing<br> Ay oh ay oh ay oh ay,<br> And we danced on into the night,<br> Ay oh ay oh,<br> Ay oh ay oh,<br> And we danced on into the night,</p> <p>Like a piece to the puzzle that falls into place,<br> You could tell how we felt from the look on our faces,<br> We was spinning in circles with the moon in our eyes,<br> No room left them moving between you and I,<br> We forgot where we were and we lost track of time,<br> And we sang to the wind as we danced through the night,<br> And we sang</p> <p>Ay oh ay oh ay oh ay,<br> And the voices bang like the angels sing,<br> We're singing<br> Ay oh ay oh ay oh ay,<br> And we danced on into the night,<br> Ay oh ay oh,<br> Ay oh ay oh,<br> And we danced on into the night,<br> Ay oh ay oh,<br> Ay oh ay oh,<br> And we danced on into the night,</p> <p>Like a gift from the heavens, it was easy to tell,<br> It was love from above, that could save me from hell,<br> She had fire in her soul it was easy to see,<br> How the devil himself could be pulled out of me,<br> There were drums in the air as she started to dance,<br> Every soul in the room keeping time with there hands,<br> And we sang</p> <p>Ay oh ay oh ay oh ay,<br> And the voices bang like the angels sing,<br> We're singing<br> Ay oh ay oh ay oh ay,<br> And we danced on into the night,<br> Ay oh ay oh,<br> Ay oh ay oh,<br> And we danced on into the night,<br> (And the voices bang like the angels sing),<br> Ay oh ay oh,<br> Ay oh ay oh,<br> And we danced on into the night,<br> Ay oh ay oh ay oh ay,<br> (Ay oh ay oh),<br> Ay oh ay oh ay oh ay,<br> (Ay oh ay oh),<br> Singing ay oh ay oh ay oh ay,<br> (Ay oh ay oh),</p> <p>Im horid and sweaty and recoving from illness but im happy i got lots to do today butim putting it off you know. anyway now i come to it i cant think of much to say - im tiered and i best get on so ill ts xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/12/30/into_the_night_and_others~3506403/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/12/30/into_the_night_and_others~3506403/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/12/26/one_hell_of_a_last_week~3491643/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2007-12-26:/2007/12/26/one_hell_of_a_last_week~3491643/Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:19:56 +0100 <p>I couldnt bring myself to write last week. Monday was fine surprisingly but tuesday we found out that the drama exam we were all expecting to do, wasnt and that we havent done any work for either and it was an external, my dispair probably isnt tangible this late on because im trying to remain calm about it but when you realise that you have 2 plays to learn in a month and you have no more lessons before the exam you can see that you would feel a little depserate. Im trying desperately not to think about it too much because on thursday i made myself hysterical and fainted at work thursday night i was very ill and i knew that i was meant to be going to greys christmas party that weekend so i was dosed up and i tried desperately to get better. </p> <p>Friday i didnt go into school or rather i did to simply hand in my 2 peices of causework. Media all i can do is hope and prey that its okay, i got a bit confused in the last couple of days and changed a load of stuff of my own bat so im just hoping its all good, it'd be fantastic if i could get a B thats what im hoping for but i recogn itll be more like a C. <img src="/img/smilies/icon_confused.gif" alt=":-/" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>My english essay didnt end up being finished in time i had to hand it in just as it was becuase i was ill. So i hope shell understand and im gonna try and finish that over the holidays. Along with all my other work and revision <img src="/img/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" class="middle" border="0"> - no rest for the wicked.</p> <p>Ah the weekend - its so hard to explain. I got a shock as to how jonny lives and everything suddenly all made sence. I realised that i love him but were not back together but neither do i think were quite single either. Its complicated. I love him. Its such a relief to know, i hope he can learn to love me back again - thats what i wish. I love him.</p> <p>Christmas - was a bit of a daze to be honest a mixture of the weekend and jonny and being ill but i had a good time and it wasnt a disapointment probably because i didnt expect anything does that make sence.</p> <p>I have today to sort out all my work and pack for daddys and sort out all my pressies too <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> just generally a chill and a sorting day i think mummy might want to play games so we might do that and snack on the left overs and i might drink a bit more <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> we have so much alcohol - its great its gonna last us ages!!!</p> <p>So work im trying not to worry about because whenever i do i feel like im about to panic and thats not good i havent even started revising but what can i do? there is absolutely nothing i can do everything has conspired against me and i cant fight it i can only ride the wave and try to make the best out of it.</p> <p>After today im going to daddys for our second christmas for 4 days and then near enough it'll be the new year <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> a new chance a new opportunity - the year ill become an adult and the year ill be leaving home to become who i am - university. There has always been so many things that i wanted to change every new year but considering i entered into this year with absolutely no sence of greatful ness 17 seemed such a non entity and its been the greatest year - ive been sucessful, ive found my first boyfriend and it turns out i feel in love. This year surprisingly theres so much i want to hold onto. I just hope everythings going to be okay. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/12/26/one_hell_of_a_last_week~3491643/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/12/26/one_hell_of_a_last_week~3491643/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/12/16/g_mornin~3450136/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2007-12-16:/2007/12/16/g_mornin~3450136/Sun, 16 Dec 2007 10:23:20 +0100 <p>its early, well it is for the weekend anyway.</p> <p>Jonny's ill and i asked to speak to him yesterday which we did and was nice <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> he has all the symptoms of a cold but with ulcers on his tounge and hes been ill since thursday! and im worryingly worried. Im upset that hes ill adn i dont want him to be and i wanted to make him feel better which are all feelings ...that im not sure i should welcome.</p> <p>Adams alreday warned me over the washing up, we always have heart to hearts and sparing matches over the washing up he said 'Kat...be carefull.' and im like 'of what?' and he said 'when you go to this party...just be careful' and i, much amused and slightly pleased (it takes alot for adam to admit he cares) 'of that Jonathan boy (<img src="/img/smilies/graybigrazz.gif" alt=":P" class="middle" border="0">) just be carefull.'</p> <p>Anyway im up this morning because i asked jonny if hed be online and he said probably but early so here i am.</p> <p>He said he was sorry for being ill, and i said that it didnt matter cos even if he was ill i was still coming up (going down :S) to see him, even if we didnt go to the party.</p> <p>Which, incidently im 'shitting it' about found out from baker (more bout him later) that its kind of a discoey event :S - i HATE dancing - well no thats not strictly true, like all girls i readily enjoy a rave round the room in your underware to kelly clarkson or pink or the like, but in a room full of other people - i cant do it. It seems rediculous when other things like that happen, i just put on my drama hat and become somebody else and no one ever knows but not this - i hate it. Almost as much as hypocrits and the cold.</p> <p>Speaking of tim and the cold <img src="/img/smilies/graybigrazz.gif" alt=":P" class="middle" border="0"> the parentals decided it would be a fabulous idea, in the middle of winter to change all the windows so for the last 3 days various parts of the house have had large gaping holes in the walls!!! Surfice it to say - i have not been happy - in fact positively miserable is the adjective i would use.</p> <p>Ah Baker, jonnys friend, ive been speaking to him allot recently, which is a good thing as im going to be spending the weekend with them i need to be able to speak comfortably to a few people at least. Hes trying to get with jess and i seem to have somehow become the instigator in this. Now Jess is NOT easy to please. Shes a self admited 'cock-tease' and 'shallow' both of which i am sorry to say are true. Shes lovely and he talked to her for 2 hours on MSN which is pretty good if he can hold her attention that long. Baker is, shall we say, not a looker (bless him) but a perfectly nice guy and deffinately NOT her type so i seem to have set him up for a fall albeit compleatly acidently, but theres none else i seem to reallybe able to think of for him in that capacity so i cannot rectify the situation either. But she did say he seemed like a nice guy so theres mutual intrest even if its a different kind of intrest if you see what i mean. I keep thinking she could surprise me and he does have a tatoo whcih she likes, and a car which might also apeal. I dunno it could be a turing point for her. But we shall see im trying desperatly to stay as far removed from the situation as possible tbh.</p> <p>Christmas - tis the season to be jolly and all that ... only 9 days left i cant believe it! im not fully excited yet but there is a kind of antisi..............................................pation in the air <img src="/img/smilies/graybigrazz.gif" alt=":P" class="middle" border="0"><br> Im all reday i think, i hope :S i dont know wether to buy jonny a christmas present. I think ill leave it and then depending what happens he can have a joint birthday present, its only in march so... and i already have an idea what to get him if he doesnt get one for christmas. Hope it doesnt seem too over the top if i do get it. It'll be second hand from adam, but hes not really used it that much :S but then does that seem cheap? hmm its all for the future i guess.</p> <p>Im getting paid next week - which is nice considering i already have £40 left over from last months pay - should be able to take 'bout £40 to jonnys - £20 for baker as petrol money etc. errrrrm and yeah i have an audition for Huddersfield uni on wednesday (miss extended form <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> oh yeah !!! - score <img src="/img/smilies/graybigrazz.gif" alt=":P" class="middle" border="0">) anyway i havent really looked into it that much - i relly must today and get myself psyced for it so that i know what im doing - this usually comes when choosing the clothes i ware. Im feeling a bit low atm i seem to be needing help allot and sort of ... confirmation about htings, like yesterday i got my mum to check over my corsework - which i never usually do because she corects it too mucha nd makes me feel not only inadiquate but the peice is no longer mine when shes finished. Praps its just a clash but ... and today im going to consult her about what i should ware for my audition, does thismean tht the audition will not be totally mine if i do? I already feel a bit intimidated by the fact that its where she used to go and where she used to live so - i dont know. Im getting myself far too worked up about this - i shall ask her opinion on my clothes and then make my own decision, i might ask adam too. and then go along to athe audition adn thoroughly enjoy myslef, im not even planing on going there i just want to try the audition and have fun, its good practice <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> im relieved i dont have a monologue to learn though.</p> <p>This is a long blog, i seem to have more to talk about than i first though, or maybe the morning has just got to me and made me ramble on about allsorts or insignificant stuff, probably the latter i should imagine.</p> <p>Ive compleated half of my English corsework - and my media is nearly done <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> thankgod. Oh and i found out (seems i was near to the last to know) that i have 25% extra time in the exams <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> which is such a relief!!!</p> <p>Talk soon<br> My love<br> Kat xxxxx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/12/16/g_mornin~3450136/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/12/16/g_mornin~3450136/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/12/12/so_much_has_happened~3431704/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2007-12-12:/2007/12/12/so_much_has_happened~3431704/Wed, 12 Dec 2007 10:31:35 +0100 <p>Well in two weeks, jonny G has invited me to Greys christmas party. Im going. Bit scared bout lieing to my parents, they think im staying at Maddys but actually shes not going. Bit scared and nervous but im going for it everyone ive consulted thinks i should, so i am and i want to see and see how i feel. But i dont know ...</p> <p>Just descovered Newton Faulkner - im loving 'Dream catch me' and 'all i got' which seem quite relevant <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>As with school. Revision has gone! and there is nothing i can do about it, i have however done 1/3 of my english c/w to be in for the end of the week *sighs* and nearly done my media - for which i have an extention.</p> <p>I got my exam timetable soooo... :S</p> <p>But im feelin good this morning, i have quite alot of money, my mates are good, i have allot to be thankful for. Im not content but im on the right side of stressed (just) and i have something to look forward to, if everything goes to plan.</p> <p>An i a pesemist? Talk soon<br> Kat xxxxx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/12/12/so_much_has_happened~3431704/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/12/12/so_much_has_happened~3431704/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/12/04/remaining~3395900/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2007-12-04:/2007/12/04/remaining~3395900/Tue, 04 Dec 2007 21:22:21 +0100 <p>Just thought id fill you in on the university front as i forgot to mention it the other day i now have 4 offers and an interview. 160 - yorks st john, 220 Uclan and Edgehill and 240/260 - chester? cant quite remember the exact offer for the latter.</p> <p>So this has left me with a bit of a problem as i was going to apply to Edgehill and Uclan but seeing as they are both the same ucas points if i apply to them but then dont get that many ucas points id be stuffed as it were. So this means that York st johns will be my back up but left me with the dilema of which to choose for my first choice.</p> <p>I as am yet still undecided until i revist Uclan for definate but after some research i think it will be Uclan everything, all the statistics seem to point there, but i do have some reservations, i just hope i make the right decisions :S. Another factor is nearly ryone who ive asked when i mentioned it in passing have said Uclan. But like i say im still undecided officially.</p> <p>A quick update on other things, im keeping afloat (i think) with homework there seems to be a lul however Media is in for marking untill tommorow and i havent dont anything with my eng corsework since that initial page. Been concentrating on unseens and things. But im keeping calm which is worrying me if you get me, not sure if you will hmmmm however, thats about it for the moment, that i can speak of anyway because i have proccessed it, if you understand that, praps you dont i unique if nothing else <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>TS Kat xxxxx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/12/04/remaining~3395900/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/12/04/remaining~3395900/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/11/30/lots~3376968/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2007-11-30:/2007/11/30/lots~3376968/Fri, 30 Nov 2007 22:20:53 +0100 <p>Its probably been a while since i wrote and thats probably been for 2 reasons 1) iva had mounds of homework so havent had the chance and 2) there hasnt been much ground shattering to report - the result i now have loads of little things to depart unto you <img src="/img/smilies/graybigrazz.gif" alt=":P" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Im currently in a rather fabby mood - Simon n Garfunkle are keeping me high <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> right where to start ...</p> <p>School - English corsework is now started and whilst not exactly 'flowing' i have over a page and what i have is good, so im pleased with that. Media corsework - i now envisage where im going with that for the first time, the only minus point is that the deadline is two weeks. Nothing to report on the drama front but lets not go there i dont want to get upset.</p> <p>Boys - nothing to report. Same as last time really.</p> <p>Girls - charlotte was pissed with me today for missing extended form, but shes never pissed with me so that was a bit of a downer, jess has been away practically all week and im worried about beth, after her suspected miscariage a while ago - shes started being sick in the mornings but refused to tell the doctor what she suspected!!! Getting on with everyone, especially hannah and alice actually.</p> <p>Ah yes new - i went to the doctors on wednesday to talk about the implant and theyve given me a new pill today which is the same chemicals to see how my reacts to it. Pros and cons to this 50% stop bleeding compleatly !!! <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> (y) 50% get hevvier/bleed all the time and suffer from horendous mood swings <img src="/img/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" class="middle" border="0"> not so good... so we'll see how that one goes - i started today - i really hope it works out.</p> <p>Erm what else oh yes tommorow is Andys birthday party where were performing this play :S bit nervous but the adreneline should do me good - im looking forward to it.</p> <p>Other than that ... i dont think theyres a right lot hmmmm<br> so yeahs ...</p> <p>Kathys song is great! Id love someday for someone to sing that to me and mean it.</p> <p>Night<br> XxXxXxX </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/11/30/lots~3376968/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/11/30/lots~3376968/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/11/18/things_are_getting_low_again~3316347/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2007-11-18:/2007/11/18/things_are_getting_low_again~3316347/Sun, 18 Nov 2007 20:15:31 +0100 <p><u>Jonny G</u><br> is that my mistake u dnt wanna be?<br> well yes<br> i guess it is<br> thnx<br> what for?<br> for sayin that<br> why?<br> its true<br> ur not my mistake. it werent a mistake bein wit u</p> <p>what?<br> ur takin everyting tha wrong way all tha time. like its all a agme n that it was all a mistake. i care bout u n u say stuff like that to me<br> game*<br> im sorry<br> i just dont want you to forget about me<br> Y WUD I?<br> i dont know<br> i feel like i did something wrong<br> well u didnt ok<br> i wanted to do better<br> u did fine stop feelin bad about urself u were evry ting i cud ever ask for<br> i dont understand<br> im sorry<br> ok<br> i just want everything to be alright<br> so do i<br> i dont know how</p> <p>u still gunna hang wit us n cum up beer tent nxt season<br> yeah corse i am, if you want me to<br> of cors<br> n maybe i can keep u warm if u want/ u aint sacked me yet<br> u aint sacked!!!<br> so is that a yes then<br> its a maybe i want to<br> well im very warm n cuddly if u need it<br> really, id have never guessed!<br> ok i gtg il ts xxxxxxxxx<br> kk xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx</p> <p>He acted like i broke his heart.</p> <p>Listen to Come what may ... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/11/18/things_are_getting_low_again~3316347/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/11/18/things_are_getting_low_again~3316347/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/11/17/two_words_board_shitless~3311162/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2007-11-17:/2007/11/17/two_words_board_shitless~3311162/Sat, 17 Nov 2007 17:11:42 +0100 <p>Well lastnight was very good. Excelent show (love billious baileyious and his tinselworminess) good food (love wagamama) and i got a new sexy tshirt (i aint gonna be ur bitch!)</p> <p>Today however is slightly less than good. I got up late, talked to jonny G <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> which went ... im not sure ... it went hoever <img src="/img/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p>I have managed to do quite a bit of what i wanted today which is good <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> im now just about to make a list for tomorow and sort out those annoying little things that aernt wuite jobs but have to be done grr they feel like such a waste of time.</p> <p>Jonny W - for two no three days all ive really wanted to do was talk to him. I feel really wierd about this, i no hell chear me up and for a short while ill feel a bit of light relief. Chances of tonight though are slim - were going to a friends housewarming which im hoping is going to be good <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p>Not sure what else there is to say - no more on the offers - still three uclan, york and chester. sooo... we shall see...</p> <p>Wish me luck ...</p> <p>p.S I like elipses ...<br> P.P.S i am now on the blob probably a reason why im feeling so meh - i think the technical term is melencholy but that sounds so much like one is up ones own arse.<br> P.P.P.S I like post scripts <img src="/img/smilies/graybigrazz.gif" alt=":P" class="middle" border="0"> xxx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/11/17/two_words_board_shitless~3311162/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/11/17/two_words_board_shitless~3311162/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/11/14/title~3297873/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2007-11-14:/2007/11/14/title~3297873/Wed, 14 Nov 2007 22:49:30 +0100 <p>Hmmm *sighs* things are okay at the moment im costing. Maybe its cos ive just had a bath that i feel better but Jonny W and i are back to our old happy chats, flitty and friendly. Im glad we both know how the other feels now. And im glad things aernt arquard but have made things more open.</p> <p>Jonny G now has facebook so its been really easy to keep more incontact with him plus hes been on msn more so thats been really nice, i have however now of cause seen his friends, which i admit freely gave me a substantial twinge of jelousy especailly over the girls, i am 3rd on his top friends (how sad is it that i care!!!)(maddy is 5th <img src="/img/smilies/icon_surprised.gif" alt=":o" class="middle" border="0"> ) no more on that front really.</p> <p>What else ... i now have 3/5 offers york st john - 160, chester - 240, UCLAN - 220. So all is going well im just conscious that im getting closer ever closer to that time when i have to pick :S work is getting more organised and focused im happy to say, i seem to know more what im doing and ive tackled some difficult stuff to day so i feel better about it now.</p> <p>I also think i may be adicted to the internet lol, this evening i got home and it wasnt working and i had a massive panick attack and got really stressed and iritable (it may have had something to do with period soon however...) i had to ring up tim and get him to talk me through setting it up again, which he did which was surprising and welcome <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>soooo we shall all see<br> night kat<br> xxxxxxxxx</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/11/14/title~3297873/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/11/14/title~3297873/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/11/09/hectic_night_last_night~3268963/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2007-11-09:/2007/11/09/hectic_night_last_night~3268963/Fri, 09 Nov 2007 10:34:46 +0100 <p>On the work front getting a bit stressed by it all tbh - trying to keep calm. On the upside we think mr.bower is having his baby <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> so were all really excited and so lessons are cancelled until further notice (y)</p> <p>Erm what else also decided that appart from a few - friends christmas presents are going to be colages (y) of my own making so we shall see how that goes - one is already made so i have 3 more to make and 3 presents to buy probably going to be jewelry from clairs <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> always welcome and easy and relatively cheap so tis all good - i only have £30 left in my bank account but i think i should be able to manage with £2o tops plus i have decembers money to come through soon <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0">I am slightly worried that tim and daddies presents havent arrived yet but trying to remain calm - adam and mummy are now sorted adn wrapped and i think 1 set of grandparents are done which means i ahve to discuss with daddy the other grandparents and pat (y)</p> <p>Ya see im all organised ish - ill be happy when there all done <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Anyway 'just keep swimming, just keep swimming <img src="/img/smilies/graybigrazz.gif" alt=":P" class="middle" border="0">'<br> talk soon<br> xxxxxxxxxxx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/11/09/hectic_night_last_night~3268963/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/11/09/hectic_night_last_night~3268963/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/11/07/title~3260303/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2007-11-07:/2007/11/07/title~3260303/Wed, 07 Nov 2007 17:21:41 +0100 <p>Ah bloody hell! Just stressed out compleatly! Grrr got my lettery thing from UCAS and i applied to tracking all right but i had to check all my corsy things and grrr computer was so fuckin slow!!! Anywho now revising which is doing nothing for my mood. Also deeply confuded by the whole exam thing which ones am i doing which are real which are resits and just generally arrrrggg about all that <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> 'smile like you mean it'</p> <p>Mummy is also very stressed yesterday and revealed that she is actually ill and blamed us for not oding any work but neither of us knew she was even ill or she wanted anything doin before she started balling at us like some demented thing that balls a hell of a lot.</p> <p>Jonny emailed me. Dont know how i feel. Some friends think it means that hes still thinking about me and i dont know cos guys never email first do they - you always have to get intouch with them so i dont know.</p> <p>Im trying not to get my hopes up and just seing how things go i replied and was pleasent etc pfffft dont know.</p> <p>Errrrrm what else? not spoken to either of the other jonnys for a while but i txted jonny w the other day but who knows *shruggs*</p> <p>erm think thats it but then again isnt that enough <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"><br> talk soon<br> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/11/07/title~3260303/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/11/07/title~3260303/#commentshttp://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/11/01/title~3232224/tag:kitkat14.blog.co.uk,2007-11-01:/2007/11/01/title~3232224/Thu, 01 Nov 2007 22:54:54 +0100 <p>Well since this morning things are looking up <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>UCAS application is sent !!! YAY !!! and off so im very happy bout that <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Im talking to alot of people and jonny 3 is giving me grief. Also talking to findus which is a turn up for the books decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and go for the whole friendship thing again - see what happens <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Atm im trying desperatly to go for big hair like imogen heap but its really not working <img src="/img/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" class="middle" border="0"> will have to work on that.</p> <p>See what happens in the morning- i have a blissfull lie in so again with the (y) i am actually quite happy tonight its good </p> <p>night night xxxxxxxx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/11/01/title~3232224/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://kitkat14.blog.co.uk/2007/11/01/title~3232224/#comments