Its the first time in a while ive sat down and really looked forward to writing this. At least now ive not been avoiding you, i have just forgotten.
Its been hard recently. So hard!
Recently since shopping with Becky i went to my clubs and had a fantastic night. Got chatted up by 3 guys but i panicked and told them i was seeing someone. We went to Carpe which was lovely and i drank - a vodka and cranberry, then a double of malibu and coke which was lovely, then a double of vodka and coke and another double of something with vodka but it was clear - might have been lemonade... then we did a shot of apple sours which was AWFUL but i think it was also the fizz of other stuff which wasnt nice.
We then moved to Boubon which is where the dancing happened. Yes the dancing i danced till 3 in the mouring! And it was great. I felt so guilty afterwards though. I missed him. I wished hed been there with me, to dance with me...
Since then... ive not really done anything exciting, except on monday i tried to go give blood again and had a very bad faint. I was out for 3 mins and had a spazm - i felt awful!
Tommorow im going for a picnic for andys birthday and then Friday im still meant to be going for a coffee with Jonny W lol. I wonder if it will happen. Then this weekend im going to my Daddys again, which i hope will be nice.
*sighs* Jonny. Hes in everything i do. Recently, i say recently these last couple of days ive not been as obsesive. Ive been calm and controled and holding it in. I cant decide where i stand with him. Were still talking and some times we have some lovely conversations. Sometimes hes really flirty and its like old times and theres promisse and i love it. Other times its like he despises me and he doesnt know why he puts up with me, and still all i want is a bit of affection.
He even rang me this morning which was lovely hed just woken up, i love that in his voice when hes all quiet and mumbly and dopey and i can just imagine him ... unfortunately on the phone i oouldnt really tell what he was saying to me and as usual i think that frustrated him and he didnt stay on long. Either that or he was embarassed. I love his voice. His accent. I hadnt forgoten it. It was how i remembered it. The same but hearing it...
I hope the calm lasts and its not before another stormy outburst on my part.
As to uni. Ive started packing for Flying Start next week because of being busy(ish) over the rest of this week. I'll be away a whole week it looks like because tims thinking of picking me up and going streight to Bodnant (an SK do) so ill be back on the Sunday night. Should have lots of things to catch up on. I'll miss him. I still txt him.
I sometimes wonder if it would be better to make a clean break but i dont think i could stand it.
My Needs assesment report still hasnt come through yet, still waiting for that.
I know my flat number now ... its 98F woop lol
Erm ... under a month now till results day :S hehe i just want to know now. I just want to know and prey im not disapointed.
Should get paid from daddy soon. Im really looking forward to being in control of that money.
Anyways i think that about covers it.
Cant think of any more news. Im not sure if ill get the chance to write again untill after flying start. But in accordance with those famous words - ill be back
Talk soon
Love Kat xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
